Disappearing

Wayne has texted and called several times.  I have not responded.  He wants to know why I don’t like him? What did he do wrong? Why don't I return his calls? His breakdown makes me nervous, but I still don't respond. I’ve learned that trying to explain why I don’t want to see a man gets me into more trouble.  In my nervousness, I lie in ways that are not only far-fetched but also enrage the men I try to appease.  Once, I told a man I had to leave a date to go see a dying friend who lived nearby. Another time, I said I was going on an extended vacation to a remote log cabin with no means of communication. I rather not have to make excuses.  I prefer to disappear like men do when they don’t like a woman:  No response. No call. No email.  It’s all very clear and effective.  Anyway, who cares for “reasons. “  People don’t change or even want to. And it’s not my job to change any man.
 
Let me explain about Wayne: I went out with him two times. The second time he made me pay for my dinner.   I never liked the man, but I figured if he paid I would listen to his mumbo jumbo about God, Buddha, yoga and science. I would even sleep with him (fair enough trade). Someone to pass the time. But he was cheap, planning dates around nights with restaurants that had half-off wine, pizza. Anyway, I knew he could afford it; as a partner at firm he made over 370/hr.

I hate cheap men.  I hate how their neuroses about money governs their decisions, dates, etc. It’s as if they reduce everything to a price-tag and only go for the clearance items.  That’s not my style.  I don’t treat myself cheap even though I only make $13 dollars/hr, and I’ll be damned if I allow a man to treat me that way.