I've had an epiphany about you and your relationships: you always say that you are a failure at relationships, but I think you are looking at it all wrong. In an interesting way you are as cerebral about your relationships as you are about everything else in your life. Your desire for a particular type of relationship stems from your current interests and curiosities about the world around you at the moment. Therefore, these women in your life -- believe it or not -- represent something you were interested in learning about yourself at the time (don't forget that you are always in your head). In a way, you are as much of an adventurer in relationships as you are in every other part of your life. Also, I don't think these women have picked you as much as you have picked them: you are too much of a man to allow a woman to do that to you. As a matter of fact, you do not like the aggressive types who make the first move.
So, in a way you know exactly what you want from a woman when you fall in love with her (you want to learn something from them; this is why you are very particular about who you allow into your life). And, your relationships don't end because they have failed; they end because you get learned from them and are therefore bored by them. And, this is no sin or terrible fault or yours. I'm pretty sure that even if you fell in love with a Venusian princess who had red giraffes as pets and made love to you by putting her middle finger to your forehead you would bore with that soon enough.
If you look at the arc of your relationships you would see how you and your interests have changed over time. For example, I'm pretty sure your first wife represented your country and your innocence: the rustic and simple but fulfilling part of your life (that even now you hold onto with your farm). But, when that got old you became interested in your changing world and the way new ethnicities and cultures were changing your country because you are ethno-centric, even though your curiosities always make you venture into new directions . Therefore, you fell in love with your Danish/Spanish girlfriend (in a way going with this girlfriend not only allowed you to accept your changing culture a bit more but made you understand it). She was important to you and took up a considerable amount of time and energy because you were venturing into the unknown with her. I think that is where all the passion stemmed from. Yet, once you figured it out you had to put that relationship away also. Maybe, that is why she was so hurt and why you were also devastated because you must be true to your curiosities about life and... women are the conduits for answering these mysteries for you (you know something the ancients did as confirmed by Goethe who said that "the eternal female draws us onward").
So, here's what interesting: Your Chinese wife seemed like a stretch for you, but in all actuality she really wasn't. Most white men are fascinated by the exotic east. To have a Chinese girlfriend is a test of the true white European male's adventurous side. So, you might have been fulfilling that very deep and subconscious part of your nature.
So now, here I am.. the American Gypsy. I represent your latest interest: what is that crazy America up to now? In a way, I'm not the typical "in a pursuit of quick, self-gratifying pleasures, or reality show contracts, or overnight weight-loss regimens or quickie true love, or beauty obsessed plastic surgery junkie, celebrity groupie or astrology hippie (even though you see me like that every once in awhile, and I am a bit of all that). In an even more ironic twist of fate, to you, I am more American than most Americans, and you know that because you seek the authentic. You consider me that that unique, rebellious, wild, subversive and adventurous revolutionary type who represents what American was always intended to be the land of. So, I will provide you with answers for awhile. And, really, I don't mind it. In a way, you and me found each other because we will provide each other with answers and maybe a bit more of who we really are. But, I think that is what relationships are all about.
And, after all that, my point is that you should not knock yourself for being who you are and your quest to know yourself through the women in your life.
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